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I let myself get distracted for no good reason and now I'm posting late.
The reflection in the mirror is the truth.
There are some times in life when I feel myself and my life changing.
Always for the good, better, best.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
I really like reading, but I often feel like it takes too much time.
It's the same with writing.
How can I be so stingy and doubtful about spending time doing things I love?
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
happy place, happy face.
I just watched the Mister Rogers documentary and I am reminded of the good that one person can do and be for so many others.
One of the things that I feel inspired by is his relationship with 143 or I love you. He weighed 143 for many many years. It is stunning and brilliant that he figured out his own equation to literally be the embodiment of love! It seemed like his own way of confirming his own brilliance and purpose.
It was a different experience observing Mister Rogers as an adult and realizing the social and political issues and realities he addressed. As a child, I had no idea how progressive Mr. Rogers was, because he showed love for all people. He was a real person who interacted with other people, especially children, in very real ways. Even though, I think I understood that he was there to teach good things, I knew that what he was doing was different. Sometimes, I think I was confused by Mister Rogers, because there really was no one like him. I remember noticing that everything was very slow with Mister Rogers, it always seemed like the longest show and that was very different. I also remember having curiosity about what would happen each time I watched. Sure, there was a consistent structure, but I never knew what to expect.
I am still so enthralled by 143 and that perhaps, he had created or discovered his own equation to how he could be the perfect embodiment of love. Or, his own way of reminding himself that he already was the perfect embodiment of love. The weight of love on earth in human terms. It's really beautiful and has that childlike brilliance. Something so simple and obvious that most people don't see or consider. Something that may or may not have any meaning to anyone else or in reality, but a child believes in what feeds their sense of self and has no interest in negotiation, because someone else says so.
Fred Rogers demonstrated that we can be loving and kind to ourselves and each other always. He was living proof that it is possible and serves our purpose individually and collectively. I felt sad listening to each person talk about how some people chose to criticize and discriminate against him, because it was unbelievable and/or unacceptable that a man would be sensitive, kind and loving. There was no one to compare him to, to positively validate him.
This is something I get fiery about, because we rely on outside validation, comparison and likeness all the time. We've lost our depth, we aren't willing to take the time to think or feel or imagine. We like concepts, but we demand data and proof in order to believe. We no longer do our own research. We do not believe in each other indefinitely, because we don't take time to know one another. We know about each other. About is relatively vague. Think about it in terms of measurement and whether or not "about" inspires confidence.
I think that if I can listen to and look at myself and others the way Fred Rogers listens to and looks at people, that will be a different experience. I always thought it was my role and my goal to make people feel more comfortable, but I'll be okay if I make some people uncomfortable similar to the way Fred Rogers did. More and more, I am realizing it's uncomfortable is where comfortable begins.
I hope you'll find time to watch the documentary and notice what resonates with you.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
L -->R The Peppin family tiger, younger brother Nick and me, on my first day of half-day Kindergarten.
We watched Mister Rogers in the afternoon.
It's a pretty gorgeous day out, but I'm still looking forward to being here at the library, today.
Right now I am fixated on having a better planning system and mindset.
I think I feel inspired because I'm thinking more about this teen workshop and I would love to support teens to learn more about themselves and how to get into their own practice of helpful life habits earlier in life. I can create an environment for young people to learn how they learn, how to study or how to plan and make time for themselves. I can give them the time, space and no expectations encouragement to practice habits and understand their own experience.
When I was a freshman in high school, my English teacher and I had a rocky start, but eventually I really appreciated her. She was kind of snooty and pretentious, but eventually she showed she was also down-to-earth, had a good sense of humor and truly wanted to lift her students up to see that they were capable of more. I remember one day, she called me to the front of the classroom and told me to teach something to the class, so I did. She said I was a teacher and I knew that was true.
In college, my major was education and I planned to be a Spanish teacher, until I realized that I would be absolutely powerless and miserable within the current education system. I have never understood why the education system is not focused on learning. Education and learning are not synonymous or even complementary in America. This is not a disrespect to all of the amazing teachers, in fact, it's a recognition that they are not supported to teach or understand students to their fullest ability.
During sophomore year of college, I received a B on a paper that I had worked very hard on and was extremely proud of. It outlined and proposed a course called, Your Name 101, that should be added to the core curriculum. It would be focused on giving students time to reflect on their experiences and work on personal projects that would culminate into a portfolio and presentation their senior year. I was moved to do something that I had never done before: I scheduled time to discuss the grade with the professor. When I explained the reason for the meeting, she agreed it was a very good paper and idea, and then implied that someone else had written it or that I was not capable of that caliber of work. It was the most disheartening experience and confirmed I will never be a teacher as part of the American education system. This educator of educators reminded me of how the system works and who the system supports.
I have a fire in me about education, if it were to be set free, the intent would be similar to slashing a field to make it fertile. I'm excited to offer a time and space for teens to relax, find inspiration from within and to see what happens next.
I think the young people around and inside us are so important. Their brilliance is beyond comprehension. Sometimes we don't know what to do with it. They are so bright in so many different ways. We never lose that young person inside ourselves, but we are taught that growing up is letting go of that part of ourselves. As adults we spend a lot of time and energy stifling and later reconnecting with this part of us who wants nothing more to believe our imagination, try things and share who we are with others.
This is because there is the system of education and there is life learning, which goes beyond the system and is what we actually need in order to thrive and contribute. I am more distraught than combative about American education. Evenso, I am excited to by the idea that more people are taking their own path to learning and are succeeding outside the system on their own terms.
I'll always remember what one of my cohorts said in class one day my senior year, "A degree really just shows that you are trainable." I would agree that for a lot of people, including myself, this is true. A degree, good family, grades and achievements are no guarantee that you will achieve your highest goals in life. If you haven't read or listened to the book, GRIT, by Angela Duckworth, check it out.
Also, if you do not have a library card, get one! Here are three great apps that you can use to check-out audiobooks and download e-books for free.
https://rbdigital.com/
https://app.overdrive.com/
https://www.yourcloudlibrary.com/
**Go to the app store or google play to download on your mobile device.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
Work day at the library with @chrystinahakam
I am so erratic about planning. I dread it and I love it.
For the past month or so, I've been meeting with my friend, Chrystina for a weekly check-in. We have become great support and accountability partners. It's lovely to take time for ourselves and make time to spend together. Hearing ourselves and listening to each other helps bring perspective and clarity to whatever we might be struggling with, working on or celebrating.
I'm finding that I'm still struggling with committing to a consistent system for planning and tracking. I know that I need a planner of some sort and that it must be lightweight, have monthly and weekly/daily views. There is no perfect planner — product-wise or person-wise, so now I'm trying to understand how I can create an inexpensive and easy to use system that I will actually get in the habit of using consistently.
Actually, today I started wondering why I care so much about figuring out the materials/visuals. Planning doesn't really guarantee that I will follow through. A very real part of my challenge with planning is that I've conditioned myself to think that I can and should do more than one thing at a time, but it's completely ineffective.
I'm realizing my biggest hurdle as I write. It's not the system. It's the mindset. I think that I need to take time to tune-in before I attempt to do my planning. I must slow way down and come to a full stop first. Next, I must unload any and all expectations and concerns (aka fears).
Essentially, I think I need to start with training my brain and body to focus on just one thing. When I am focused two amazing things happen: 1.) things get done 2.) I feel great about whatever progress I have made because I was all in.
C and I have a loose format for our check-ins, which I am now calling "tune-ins". First, reflect on the past week and share what we feel good about, what was difficult and what we're working on. Then, we talk about what we want/need to make progress on or complete during the next week. We talk about the bigger picture, ongoing efforts and share any resources or ideas that might be of interest.
I'm really grateful for Chrystina's easy and steady friendship and support. It feels like we're comrades, in a sense. We have fun and keep pressure out of the atmosphere. We are now starting to meet up for work sessions, so our first session is tomorrow at the library. We both agreed the library setting will be great for working. Less distraction and expense. I'm excited to get to work, I have lots that I am looking forward to digging into!
If you have thoughts about planning, I'd love to hear any tips, ideas or challenges you wish to share.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
Courtyard at the Blueprint Wellness space. Book an appointment www.blueprintwellness.life
We had a great first day of school dinner. I like family dinner. I haven't been doing a great job of having family dinners like I used to and it's usually really fun. A new school year, feels like a fresh start and a reminder to get back on track!
I made a closed sign, because I think I need to have that mindset in order to make sure the family dinners continue to happen each week. I love the freedom of Summer, but there's something so good about settling back in for Fall and Winter.
I'm giving myself a blank space and am doing the bare minimum.
I have no idea why I drew myself as a ninja turtle. I just started drawing and that's what happened. I never really paid any attention to the irony of a turtle that is a ninja. Turtles are slow and kind of clunky. Ninjas are quick and agile. I guess I am kind of like a ninja turtle after all. Would ninja turtles be less ironic and more like an oxymoron? Probably both and definitely doesn't really matter.
I feel pretty good about life when I don't let the things I need and want to do take up all the time and space in my day.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
Sometimes I get delusional and think that baking "healthy" treats makes me a better mom or a better person. It doesn't. I'm not very good at baking, with the exception of the occasional pie. I tried a gluten-free chocolate chip cookie recipe that really wasn't good and I got distracted and burnt them. I had started making a batter for some muffins made with steel cut oats and applesauce. They didn't turn out very well either. I don't think I cooked the steel cut oats long enough.
It works out better when I decide to just bake something and leave my insecurities and ego out of it. Some days, my lack of confidence in myself as a parent and functioning adult is debilitating and comical.
A double baking fail is just what I needed to see how crazy I make myself sometimes. I'm over it...
I'm going to offer a teen workshop and I'm really excited about it! Even if just two people show up and one of them is my daughter, I'll be happy. Alright, I have to go and do some things. Tomorrow is the first day of high school!
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
Important things I am learning about myself as a writer:
1.) A word count is good for me. It feels like a necessary evil, but it will make me a better writer. Honestly, it feels kind of great to chop away and get to the point.
2.) I need to cheat my deadlines twice or probably thrice to deliver on time with sufficient time for editing and rewriting. It's hard to project manage myself.
3.) Sleep is really important. I want more.
4.) I don't believe I am a gifted writer, but I do believe I can be a better writer. Honesty and clarity are important qualities for me to embody when I am writing.
5.) I love writing. So much!
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
Sometimes this challenge feels like a burden and I don't want to do it. I do appreciate it every time I complete it, though. I have to keep going. Lots of good things are coming out of staying committed to this challenge. Although, I am thinking about switching up the format for the second half of it, because it's time consuming and throwing my sleep schedule off.
@bythebookpod on instagram
I started listening to the By The Book podcast and it's pretty entertaining. I am a lover of all things self-help, because I always learn more about myself. The hosts, Kristen and Jolenta, are open about who they are and where they are in their experience. I appreciate that they include their husbands and families in the conversation as they live each self-help method "by the book" for two weeks. Kristen was a producer for the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast, so if you enjoy that podcast, you might enjoy this one.
I also love that Kristen is from Minnesota and I think she might be a Korean adoptee like me. Minnesota is a mysterious place that most people don't take the time to learn more about. This may be a dark thing to say, but I imagine it will become a place of great interest when the effects of global warming are undeniable on the coasts. The older I get, the more I appreciate it, and see the infinite potential of the practical, good-natured people who live here.
I do, however, think I identify more with Jolenta than Kristen. I have a lot of negative self-talk and doubt that I let get in my way at times. I am very open to self-help, astrology and tarot. I think there's a lot I can learn in this life. It's exciting and overwhelming. It's fun to hear what goes on in other people's heads and learn about what works for them and how they stay sane.
Listening to these podcasts help me recover or take a break when I'm feeling exhausted from my own quest to be my good, better, best self. Or, maybe I could just go to sleep earlier and stick to a schedule...
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
Self-help from self-help exhaustion.
I must balance out my ratio of night dreaming to my day dreaming.
Order. Balance. Harmony. Flow. Taking time to connect with these qualities and functions from the inside out is everything. Any feeling of emptiness is felt has spaciousness. Any feeling of being overloaded is felt as an abundance of choices. Any feeling of fatigue is felt as filled up with new breath.
During an energy session the difference between being awake and asleep start to feel synonymous and simultaneous and not so separate.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
And. Or. Same. Different.
Random thoughts that became visuals or visuals that triggered random thoughts...
Truly, life is geometry — we find meaning and answers through lines.
I wish my body was a machine with built-in, automated maintenance programs for optimal food, sleep and exercise. Evolution or education ought to be the key to making this happen for every body.
Imagining the senses. Breaking through the fog.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
Hello!
I procrastinated on an important writing assignment that I care a great deal about, so I will be working on that vs writing a proper blog post this evening. That's all I will say about it right now, because I have work to do and a deadline! xoxo
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
#nofilter #sleeplessinstpaul
I love writing. I can be writing nothing and still feel happy that I'm sitting here writing. Now that I think of it, I'm realizing that, perhaps, I am one of those people who loves the sound of their own voice (in writing). And, now I get it — it's actually about self-expression and not necessarily the words or the point of the words. It feels so good because we don't often take up the time and space we need to truly express ourselves.
If there's one thing I know for sure, it is that we each have a lot more to say and share. Tonight, I went to BumbleBizz: From Side Hustle to Empire, where I listened to local business owners / entrepreneurs share parts of their stories. They were all genuine and generous with what they shared. What I mean by that is they took the time to express themselves in a way that was true to their experience and mindful of what might be helpful to share with the attendees and fellow panelists. It was a good experience and I met some really kind and inspiring people.
I envision myself speaking and sharing some of my story and my writing in the not so distant future. It's one of my most exciting goals. I believe that writing will continue to bring the clarity and confidence I need to become a great speaker.
I find my self-expression in writing all the time, but mostly that writing stays in notebooks until I have taken more time to feel it out and extract the seeds. It's not always easy to find the seeds. I often find that I'm writing all around it, and it takes a considerable amount of time and sensory experience to make a direct connection. While it can be frustrating to write around the edges, I'm beginning to accept that it's a part of how I process things and find my way in at this time. Maybe it will change as I continue to write and share more.
Writing is how I make sense of the world. It's a form of expression and a form of energy work. A way that I create time and space for myself to connect with a greater sense of awareness within and around. I was not as much myself when I wasn't writing fairly consistently. With writing, I am happy to be writing and while I hope to write something good, that matters less than the act of writing right now.
The blogs that I am writing for this #100daychallenge are often lacking on many levels, but it doesn't matter to me right now because it just feels good to write. It can get better. I just need to keep practicing and eventually, I will be better about taking the time to focus and go more in-depth.
I've been choosing to swim around on the surface, because I have been in hiding for most of my life. There must be truth, detail and enough of a whole story in writing.
At times I am utterly and embarrassingly speechless. It can be a significant hindrance when I am in social settings. At times it's because I actually have nothing to say. Other times, I am locked up and cannot speak physically. Sometimes, I am listening to and observing what feels like everything. I am completely consumed. Thinking and feeling through many layers. I go deep. I can't find my way back. I'm curious and willing to take the time to work my way through them in order to find an opening.
I'm so tired, I need to come back and edit this later...
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
either listening or lost in my imagination.
cousins.
This week, my daughter is going to freshman orientation. It's one of those milestones that has me feeling all the moments.
I have to say that I am really enjoying getting to know her. She's a really wonderful person and she has joy for herself and others. She gets full credit for who she is. She has been through some hard times and she deals with me.
I never feel like I'm a good enough parent, but then I look at her and listen to her and she seems to know who she is and then I realize that I've been getting confused about my role. There are a lot of things she is just going to have to learn on her own or from other people. She will figure out what to do and when to do it when she feels an urgency and responsibility of her own. Truly, she has everything she needs and others and I will be able to help her along the way. Her own adventure is just waiting to unfold and it's not mine to direct.
I've got to be here to provide support and to give her time, space and love to learn her own way through her own challenges and successes. And, most of all to be here for her when she needs a break of any kind, because our culture is still learning the value of breaks and slowing down.
This kid is cool. She has love for herself and because of that, she has love for others. She is fun, smart and open-minded. She is brilliance in light and brilliance in dark. She is grounded, yet high flying and boundless. If she could be the best at anything, my hope would be for her to be the best at being more of who she is always.
I hope high school is as fun and inspiring as possible to help balance out how overwhelming it may feel at times. Sometimes, it is hard to imagine and believe this, but everything we must endure is training for life. The hardest part of training is the mind and emotions or attitude, because they affect how and whether or not we will follow through toward our goals. Training is ongoing practice and sometimes it gets harder to stick with as we become more independent. I hope there's a way to embrace the training and practice that feels rewarding and enjoyable.
It all feels like it's happening so fast, so I just had to pause and take it all in a bit. I feel so lucky to have my daughter. She is in many ways my heart beat and my North Star.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
me.
Most days, I am just making it by with this #100daychallenge. I often dread it and overthink it. It's showing me a lot of my patterns and pushes me to keep going.
Sometimes I write the blog first and other times the visuals come first. Tonight was a bit of a combo. I started writing here first, but then I felt the need to move the pen across the page. I am tired, so I just started writing a bunch of nonsense. There were a couple of weird things I wrote that I liked.
"F E E L I N G I M P A I R E D"
When my ability to feel is impaired. It's the worst feeling. I feel like a shell of a person and like I have no feeling about anything or anyone. It's an awful and offensive state. Vacant, dead-eyes. I tend to believe every weakness has some benefit, so I must also acknowledge that in times of emergency, this mechanism allowed me to make quick, smart decisions.
"S Y N C H R O N I Z E D S O L I T U D E"
I love this one. Truth rings through. Something about it makes me feel good. I don't know what it means just yet, but it makes me think of peace. World peace. Another thought that came: two hearts are of one, but do not become one.
I am always glad I followed through on my #100daychallenge.
Soon, I'll try starting my day with it to see how that feels.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
Ran away to Netflix land and never coming back. Still a teenager at heart...
When I'm feeling less than 100%, I disappear into the world of Netflix and feel like I never want to come back.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
You know what?
If you really want to treat yo'self, you need to learn yo'self!
I just took the 16 Personalities assessment that my amazing friend, @joboogey recommended.
Wowza, it's so accurate. It describes all of the things that I think are socially weird about me in a way that makes me want all of my friends, family and acquaintances to read it. This excerpt really hit home, because it is something that I am aware of and feel is a weakness:
INFPs "are excellent at reading into others’ feelings and motivations, but are often unwilling to provide others the same insight into themselves – it’s as though INFPs like the idea of human contact, but not the reality of social contact."
I am not going to buy the full report or interactive courses, but I am curious to know what kind of additional insight is offered and how helpful the "academy" is to someone who wants to work on their weaknesses. If you or anyone you know does this, please share your experience!
Another assessment that has helped me learn more about myself is Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies work. It has been extremely helpful in understanding the way I work in relation to inner and outer expectations and why almost everything is a struggle... I am a rebel, which means I resist inner and outer expectations. It's something that I've always been aware of and had to internally navigate to get myself to do things, but it's very helpful to have a strategies, a framework and terminology to work with.
There's also something very helpful about knowing that I'm not alone. It takes some of the pressure and worry off. Knowledge is power. Awareness is key, Change or mastery is possible.
For anyone who is dating or partnered, I imagine these quizzes will be very helpful and a fun way to learn more about each other. It's so powerful to really understand and embrace the truth that we are different in the way we process and that we truly have different realities. More often than not the way we acknowledge differences is, "yes, but..." — which actually is a way of denying others and their realities. The avatars that 16 personalities created are an effective visual representation of how each one of us is complementary.
I really appreciated the parenting section in the 16 personalities assessment. Hit the nail on the head, I have the journal entries to back it up...ha! Understanding the different personality types can help parents communicate in ways that are more understanding and supportive to each child.
I could go on and on...but I must logoff.
Take these quizzes and enjoy sharing with your people:
16 Personalities Quiz
Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies Quiz
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
Luci #catsofinstagram #meow
Tonight was my last speed reading class.
I really enjoyed reading Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. I hadn’t realized it was written before The Tipping Point, Outliers and David and Goliath; and was re-released with a new afterword that addresses some of the questions received after the original publishing.
It is so wonderful when an author has the opportunity to reflect and share updated thoughts with readers in a new edition. I agree that “we have come to confuse information with understanding” and that “the key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding” (p. 264-265). As a person who is apt to taking time to understand my own experience in order to understand information, Gladwell’s statements relieve some of the judgment I’ve felt about requiring time to process.
In this case, I am still processing, but I do understand one thing very clearly about my experience reading Blink. The simplest way for me to explain is to update the subtitle accordingly, which is Blink: The Power and Practice of Awareness.
Gladwell’s three main points are all connected to awareness: the value of thin slicing, when to trust and when to be wary of thin slicing and how to educate and control thin slicing.
Perhaps, “power and practice of awareness” feels too broad, yet I wonder if the "power of thinking without thinking" is too vague or even contradictory for the complex subject of thin slice decision-making?
“I think the task of figuring out how to combine the best of conscious deliberation and instinctive judgment is one of the great challenges of our time” (p. 269). Yes, this makes sense to me.
It feels as if there are still some thought gaps that I’m needing to understand for myself.
What I am pondering:
Thin slicing seems to be based on what we know and experience as much as what we don’t know and haven’t experienced (i.e. awareness). Therefore, I continue to find myself coming back to awareness as the most crucial mechanism for honing thin slicing as a tool and discerning when to use and trust it.
I have many more thoughts and questions about the theory of thin slicing and about the conscious and subconscious intention(s) of this book. It seems like there are layers of intention involved and affected how I experienced it.
I love anything that inspires me to ask questions and consider or re-consider is obviously worth the read. Thoughts in process…
Read the book if you get a chance. If you have a library card, you can read the e-book for free on the @cloudlibrary app (download >> iOS I Android).
Noticing the days are getting shorter. I've been feeling it, but today is the first day I noticed it's dark at 8pm.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
parental thoughts.
"I am not particularly happy or unhappy."
I felt this and wrote it down.
As soon as I wrote it down, I noticed, what I felt is:
I am.
That is all I wanted to acknowledge and all I could feel.
A break from the constant inner and outer evaluation.
I crossed out everything after "I am" and it felt right.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
sleepless = flat
From time to time, I get exhausted.
My right eye gets lazy.
I look and feel ugly.
Exhaustion conjures up a mild hate for everything.
A lack of compassion and a meanness flow in.
Honestly, I know that I am always fooling myself about something.
Probably everything.
What is the purpose of all this?
Ugh.
I don’t want to do anything.
I don’t care about anything.
Just sleep.
Sleep kills the demons.
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Brightly,
Laura
Not enough sleep. No love. Crazy lazy eye.