35 of #100daychallenge: writing

I love writing. I can be writing nothing and still feel happy that I'm sitting here writing. Now that I think of it, I'm realizing that, perhaps, I am one of those people who loves the sound of their own voice (in writing). And, now I get it — it's actually about self-expression and not necessarily the words or the point of the words. It feels so good because we don't often take up the time and space we need to truly express ourselves.

If there's one thing I know for sure, it is that we each have a lot more to say and share. Tonight, I went to BumbleBizz: From Side Hustle to Empire, where I listened to local business owners / entrepreneurs share parts of their stories. They were all genuine and generous with what they shared. What I mean by that is they took the time to express themselves in a way that was true to their experience and mindful of what might be helpful to share with the attendees and fellow panelists. It was a good experience and I met some really kind and inspiring people.

I envision myself speaking and sharing some of my story and my writing in the not so distant future. It's one of my most exciting goals. I believe that writing will continue to bring the clarity and confidence I need to become a great speaker.

I find my self-expression in writing all the time, but mostly that writing stays in notebooks until I have taken more time to feel it out and extract the seeds. It's not always easy to find the seeds. I often find that I'm writing all around it, and it takes a considerable amount of time and sensory experience to make a direct connection. While it can be frustrating to write around the edges, I'm beginning to accept that it's a part of how I process things and find my way in at this time. Maybe it will change as I continue to write and share more.

Writing is how I make sense of the world. It's a form of expression and a form of energy work. A way that I create time and space for myself to connect with a greater sense of awareness within and around. I was not as much myself when I wasn't writing fairly consistently. With writing, I am happy to be writing and while I hope to write something good, that matters less than the act of writing right now.

The blogs that I am writing for this #100daychallenge are often lacking on many levels, but it doesn't matter to me right now because it just feels good to write. It can get better. I just need to keep practicing and eventually, I will be better about taking the time to focus and go more in-depth.

I've been choosing to swim around on the surface, because I have been in hiding for most of my life. There must be truth, detail and enough of a whole story in writing. 

At times I am utterly and embarrassingly speechless. It can be a significant hindrance when I am in social settings. At times it's because I actually have nothing to say. Other times, I am locked up and cannot speak physically. Sometimes, I am listening to and observing what feels like everything. I am completely consumed. Thinking and feeling through many layers. I go deep. I can't find my way back. I'm curious and willing to take the time to work my way through them in order to find an opening.

I'm so tired, I need to come back and edit this later...

Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.

Brightly,

Laura

either listening or lost in my imagination.