43 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. I’m kind of excited right now because I just remembered a new episode of The Fix is out tonight. Dang, I just went to pull a link to include and saw that the show has been cancelled! What a bummer.

Tonight’s episode was great! I’m so bummed out I keep writing and revising a comment on the writers’ FB page. I haven’t posted it because I’m nerding out.

I just wrote my 500 words for today. I wrote about some of the ways that I am weird and / or do weird things. It’s kind of fun to allow myself to be who I am, even if I am weird. Too polished is the worst. Especially when it comes to live beings. It’s acceptable and respectable for what it is, but beyond that, I’m just not so sure. I had something in mind when I started writing about this but I can’t recall what it was…

Completely,

Laura

42 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. I just did my Sobagh Kriya practice. It’s 7:28am and I think I am ready to shift to a morning practice vs right before bed.

Today, I want to tune-in to what this practice is teaching me. Chanting the “Har,” “God,” and “Har Haray Haree Wahe Guru” are connecting me with my own frequency by filling me with my ow n vibration. My own vibration and sound moving through my my physical, energetic and subtle body is what clears my energetic field and allows me to fully tune-in to my own frequency. This is why meditation practice is so effective for so many people. I think it’s just a matter of taking the time and consideration to find the right kind of meditation for you.

In my experience, chanting out loud or internally helps me come back to the space I’ve created for myself by showing up to practice everyday. It also helps me discern the thoughts and voices coming from within and actively created by me in response or defense or expression. Voice is a practice and an important part of learning to work with our instrument. Voice carries and creates so much. We immediately sense the difference between a voice that is rooted in clarity and truth, and a voice that is meaning to sound like something. The words we chant are more like sounds, rhythm and tone; which have a way of reminding me of the importance of what qualities and where my words come from within me. I am starting to love and appreciate the sound of my own voice because it’s helping me be stronger and authentic from the inside out.

In some ways, maybe I have always understood this about voice and why I often do not have a lot to say out loud in the presence of others. There’s a lot that I haven’t felt clear or confident about in my experience and I understand how quickly things can change, so a lot of the time I prefer to wait and see how I really feel.

This is not everything that I’m learning through meditation practice. There is so much everyday that I can’t always document it, so instead I just enjoy it. I like that meditation gives me more power to create and manage my day. Meditating right when I get home from work is a really effective way for me to reset my system, so that I’m out of work mode and settling into being at home with family.

Today is Mother’s Day. I’m looking forward to hanging out with my daughter, but first I’m going to spend some time with myself.

Completely,

Laura

41 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. Yesterday, I did a writing class with Dani Shapiro at The Loft. She guided us through some meditations and a few getting started practices, here’s one of them:

7 things I did

1. Went for acupuncture

2. Got coffee

3. Laid on the floor

4. Energy work

5. Meditated

6. Went to Whole Foods, didn’t buy chips and ate an apple

7. Watched Wine Country on Netflix

7 things I saw

1. A mother and father with their kids in a double stroller

2. A dog with spots and a particular trot

3. A client

4. A co-worker driving by

5. Giant slices of pizza

6. A baby and her father grocery shopping

7. Vintage clothes on mannequins

1 thing I heard

1. Someone call my name

Today was pretty low key. I didn’t really make any plans or task lists for the weekend, so today was pretty chill.

I just watched the movie Wine Country and had a few laughs. Now I’m going to sleep. I am tired.

Completely,

Laura

40 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. Forty days into this sadhana also means one-third of the way to 120 days. “Practice every day for 40 days straight. This will break any negative habits that block you from the expansion possible through the kriya or mantra.”

It’s interesting that negative habits preventing me from expansion will be broken, because I was just writing and realizing that I have been writing “around” my book project. I really want to start honing in on quality and directly working on the book.

Volume is neither a concern nor a goal. Perhaps for the next 40 days, I will focus on reading through the notebooks, writing notecards and taking notes on what’s emerging.

No more giving myself credit for doing things that are not direct progress on the project. I sense that this feels like a big change, but I understand what I must do if I want what I want.

Completely,

Laura

39 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day.

I have to be honest. Part of me suspects that the book is pretty much written. I have no issue with meeting word counts. I need and want to put more focus on going back through the writing and letting as much as possible emerge.

I have the nicest daughter. I realize that I’m changing the subject rather abruptly, but I just got overwhelmed with a feeling of love and appreciation for this young woman who has dealt with so many adults in her life. She understands who each person is and she knows how to connect with each of us. She is amazing because she often, if not always, reconciles any conflicts with the right words and a hug. She is also wonderful at speaking up for herself and managing her own time and to do’s. She is so brilliant in all the ways. She is a teacher I am learning from everyday. She has a particular frequency that is naturally attuned to me in a way that keeps me real and shifts me back toward the person I want to be. She deals with my imperfection and patterns in a way that makes me want to do the work I must do to be better all the time. She deals with my underdeveloped understanding and motivation to do what I need to do as a human living in the 21st Century. She deals with tendency to make everything about me, because she listens when I admit that my actions are out of alignment with my intentions. I have realized over the last 15 years that the times when things most contorted is when I’m trying too hard.

This is a good example of how I get swept away in the best way when I write and why I get so much out of it. Writing helps me find some openness and softness during my day.

I can’t understand why we humans have created a reality that doesn’t value unscheduled social connection and relaxation. Humans are so weird and have interesting ideas about logic. Human logic created a 2-day weekend and a 5-day work week and an education system that treats our children like non-thinking, non-feeling, unworthy robots with 1-2 parent masters + 6-7 teacher masters and no time to eat lunch or use the restroom without the threat of getting in trouble or being haggled. Real logic without an emPHAsis on capitalism would support people can be trusted to do the work they must do to create and enjoy their experience.

It pains me.

Completely,

Laura

38 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. Today has been gray and rainy. Rainy days are like permission to just come home and be whatever way I want to be. Suddenly, I become aware of my extraordinary experience similar to the way I become aware of the space between while meditating. It’s like waking up early in the morning without an alarm, because I’m a morning person.

There was a time when I was a morning person through and through. For awhile now, I’ve been like a stifled morning person. I am not miserable and grouchy, but I am slow moving, desperate for more sleep and slow to fully wake. I really like life. It can be a challenge to be shifting gears all of the time, so I sometimes wish that I could be awake all the time or be asleep all the time. For the most part, I enjoy my life through my inner experience the most. I have my own innate virtual reality that I am living all throughout the outer experience called reality. It’s really hard to tell what’s outer and what’s inner sometimes. Asleep and awake are maybe just states of awareness just like everything else.

Life is cool and confusing. Right now, I am pretty tired still from yesterday and I feel little like I’m in a dream state. Being tired is good and not good. It creates some separation between me and my experience because I’m in more than one place at once. I think this is something that is happening with the increase of all the different frequencies due to technology as well as the frequencies of disillusionment, hate and fear in the world. These frequencies are sensed by and affect our physical and energetic bodies whether we are aware or not. More and more of us are finding ourselves feeling distracted or fragmented and not present or disconnected and disoriented in the physical world. Maybe this all sounds like made up excuses, but I know this to be real for me. Restful sleep can help boost awareness and our ability to decrease how much and how often we dissociate from ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually. Honestly, I did just make all of that up, but I also considered it and realized that I believe it to be true at this time.

I’m looking forward to sleep! I already did Sobagh Kriya and had some really cool experiences in 11 minutes. I just need to write my 500 words and then I can get to bed.

Completely,

Laura

37 of #120sadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. I’ve been busy with other things the past couple of days and haven’t been as connected to my book project again. However, I’ve been continuing with posting on the Blueprint Wellness blog, writing 500 words in the manuscript and doing Sobagh Kriya everyday.

It is late and I need to keep this short again because I must get some sleep! Everyday there are cool things happening. I am seeing the ways that I am being challenged to go beyond my limited me-focused thought patterns and mindset. I’m lucky to have a great space and group of people to work through all of this with in my personal and professional lives.

Sometimes I feel disappointed that I don’t have more time and energy that I am spending on translating and expressing everything that I’m learning in a more artful and intentional way. There are really interesting ideas and concepts that I am aware of, but I can tell that I need more time to understand them fully and to work with them further to play around more and see where it can go. To start to practice and embody a stronger sense of the feeling of “complete” is something that is also starting to show up for me. Sometimes I am really really feeling it and other times I’m aware that it’s not there and I am looking for ways to find it or to let it emerge.

What I’m really thinking about is how I need / want to write something that feels complete. I have all these fragments and big thoughts, but not enough detail or story to bring them to life in the way that I think is needed in order to create easier ways to connect to the points and ideas being considered.

Completely,

Laura

36 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. A week ago, I woke up with a strain in my neck and it hasn’t resolved yet. It feels the worse to not feel comfortable in my own body. Pain begets pain. It’s connected, it’s all one. Working out everyday would be beneficial as long as I am doing a combination of stretching, strengthening and doing some cardio, but the discomfort is making me feel limited in mobility. I probably better get a massage to see if that helps…

I really need to go to sleep soon, so I’m going to cut this short to finish my 500 words, do Sobagh Kriya and get some rest.

I love my life despite the pain.

Completely,

Laura

35 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. It’s a fine balance of staying committed to what I’ve planned and allowing myself the freedom to do what feels right without guilt. There are some days I wake up and I am so full of resistance that I spend a good part of the day irritated. Laaaaaaame…!!! It’s pretty rewarding when I get over it though, then any little thing I followthrough on feels like a pretty great accomplishment. Maybe I should try to reverse psychology myself and make a plan to stay in bed all day every so often. Clearly, my intellectual and emotional self are still very much developing, or maybe it’s the Benjamin Button effect.

Isn’t it weird that we always know we’re going to die, but we don’t know when? I kept trying to motivate myself to be more productive or at least stop feeling such a heavy sensation of dread, and imagining I was going to die soon is a tactic can be motivating for me. Not today. It made me realize how much it really doesn’t matter whether or not I tackle all the tasks I was feeling pressured to complete. Who cares? Not I. I would care more about whether or not I was able to enjoy time with my daughter, family and friends and if I had finished my book project.

It makes me think about how I want to get my life in order so that the important things are taken care of, so that I can focus my days what I want vs what I don’t want. I want to feel like I and my life are complete everyday. I am in the midst of a larger organization project that is progressing much slower than I like, but if I take the time to do it right, I know it will help me feel more complete.

Today, I did a first session with a new client. I was reminded again how important my energy work practice is for me. Energy work and writing are the two places I feel most comfortable, most of service and most like my whole, true self. When I do energy work, I don’t really find myself thinking before talking, which is extremely refreshing. I am grateful for my energy work and writing practices. These are two things that I know I must always do in this lifetime . It’s clear and true within me that I am a devoted devotee. #devotedAF

Completely,

Laura

34 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. It was a beautiful day weather-wise outdoors. Internally it was a bit heavy and gloomy. I feel a lot of pressure to be following through on all of my projects and that pressure compresses my spirit a bit. The reality is that I am tired and when I’m tired, I am rather miserable because everything feels challenging and I long to have a real and restful break from everything.

I went to the library today. I love that place. It is such a nice feeling to visit the library and borrow a book I’ve been wanting to read. It’s been weighing on me more and more about buying more than I need, so I haven’t been buying books. It’s easy enough to borrow from the library or use the library app to borrow the audiobook or e-book. I guess it’s been interesting to notice how often I want to follow a whim and buy various things I don’t really need at this time. Making the choice to not buy books for the time being is helpful in curbing a lot of my shopping impulses. I want to buy books, but it also isn’t necessary for me to own all the books I want to read. I’m still sorting out the issue of feeling like I’m not supporting the artist or author. I think most authors and people in general want communities to support libraries.

I started reading Still Writing by Dani Shapiro and I am enjoying it. The sound of her voice seems to come through clearly and I feel receptive to what I’m learning. I haven’t read a book in a long time. Sometimes it is a challenge to shift gears and settle into reading. It’s funny that I seem to enjoy reading when the weather is beautiful. I read outside in the courtyard at the Blueprint Wellness space, in my car and lying in bed while the sun was shining. Sometimes I feel like it is such a treat to relax and enjoy a sunny day lying in bed looking out the window, reading or napping.

It’s almost 1 a.m. and my laptop needs to recharge, so it’s time for Sobagh Kriya and sleep!

Completely,

Laura

33 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. There’s something funny about how most of my posts are not really related to writing the book that I’m writing. It does keep me in-tune with my project and ensures I am writing everyday. Writing is so important to me. All the writing is important to me, because it allows me to have time and space to process and enjoy and appreciate the experience I am having. I was just writing in my notebook about how when I write with pen and paper, I feel more like myself, it physically feels very good when I write. Since I can’t really delete and revise as I write like I can when I’m on my laptop, the tone of what I write feels very close to me. I also enjoy typing, but it’s different. It feels more like speaking and I am more considerate and descriptive in the way I write, because others are reading it. It’s fun to do a little bit of both each day.

Last night when I was helping my daughter with her essay, I realized something that I often realize when I’m reviewing my own writing. She had all of the write thoughts on the page. She had organized them into the right sections. So, the editing I helped her with was reordering the sentences within each paragraph and connecting thoughts within and across each paragraph and the paper as a whole. I think it’s a nice recognition to know that we often have a lot of the information we need, and it’s a worthy process to take the time to understand and organize it in a way that effectively communicates what we are seeing and sharing. I really enjoy helping my daughter write her papers, because we talk about what we feel is missing and if the thoughts are clear, complete and aligned with her points. It’s fun to hear her thoughts and to see her working process. She is doing a great job. Even though she doesn’t like writing and she doesn’t feel she is a good writer, I’ve been really impressed with her initial drafts. She does her work and she does it well. She knows sometimes she could do better, but she also seems to have a handle on her boundaries which is great. I’m proud of her for that because she really has a clear sense and a healthy confidence in herself.

I think I learned that I actually enjoy the revision and editing process. It’s kind of fun to provide feedback and suggestions and have conversation about how to get the piece to the each next stage. There’s something I like about minding my thoughts and input in a way that is supportive and respectful to the writer, but also challenges her to do the work that needs to be done to find the missing pieces and find the flow. I think I kind of like it when I notice I’m not certain I’m understanding the purpose or the intent of something, because it helps me be open to listening and learning. It is cool to know that I have some heart for the editing process, because I’m going to have to find an editor to help me work through my own draft(s) eventually. It will be different to be on the other side of the process, but I feel more connected its value and the element of discovery it provides.

Feeling Friday…it was a good week so far!

Completely,

Laura

32 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. I helped my daughter with her paper and am so tired I am going to bed.

*Reposted this because the original post I wrote last night disappeared.

Completely,

Laura

31 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. It is May 1 already! I went to pilates class and met up with two super lovely lady freelancer friends. I love the pilates class because it allows us the time and instruction to consider ourselves and be intentional in our movement from the inside out. It’s soooo goooood!

This evening I got to catch up with one of my most inspiring out-of-state friends. It’s like medicine and fuel when I get to have time with friends. I love the friends that I do have because there’s a ton of love, trust and respect and very little expectation.

Tonight when I wrote my 500 words, it was total crap because I am tired. I’m going to keep this post short, so I can do my meditation and get to sleep. I did a good job on my monthly reflections and concepts practice. I am really enjoying taking time at the end / beginning of each month to reflect on the previous month, review the concepts that I put out there for the month and then doing a tarot reading and identifying my concepts for the next month. It was great to see how connected I am with the concepts that I intended for April.

it’s so crazy that it’s May now and next month, I’ll have six months left of the year to continue to be real about the bigger life tasks that I will complete in 2019. I will add one of items to my May concepts.

Completely,

Laura

30 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. I was reminded how much I love life when I am connecting with friends one-on-one. I’ve been keeping a lot of my thoughts and experiences to myself for awhile for no reason other than I haven’t been making time to spend with my people.

Earlier today, I got to catch up with a friend that I haven’t had a real conversation with in a long time. It was so good to re-connect. This is one of those people whom I immediately liked and admired when I met her. She is so welcoming to all, energetic, fun and full of heart. I left that conversation feeling so good.

Tonight was really sweet because I got to hang out with my one friend. You know how there is always one friend where the connection is completely tangible regardless of how often you see them in person? Where everything is the most fun and the funniest and all problems feel neutral? Yeahhh, that’s the one friend, I’m talking about.

This is the person I can and do see so much good in that I am reminded that I am good, too. It’s like a movie when we hang out and I always get so happy and overwhelmed with love and gratitude that I cry a little bit and it’s really beautiful and also funny. I don’t need to know the ending at all, I just have this feeling that I know that everything will work out for everyone. I’m grateful to have someone who sees me how I see me and also helps me see more of me in the best ways in the same way I see in them — I can always see her good. it’s rare to have and to be an all-loving friend in life.

I’m too tired to continue writing more…

Completely,

Laura

29 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. I wrote 500 words yesterday and am working on my 500 words for my manuscript today. I haven’t quite figured out if I want to be sharing anything here or if I’ll continue to keep the blog posts separate from the project, but for now that seems to make sense.

Pain is so distracting. I slept on my neck wrong or did something in barre class yesterday that has my left shoulder and neck feeling restricted and uncomfortable. Going to yoga tonight was helpful. I love my gym! It has such a good vibe and I’m excited to try more classes that get my out of my comfort zone. Working out is similar to meditation in that it is time that I enjoy with myself. I notice different things during my time working out vs meditating. When I work out, I become aware of how much I’m trying and wanting to be perfect all the time. it’s a bit gross meaning “immediately obvious.” I like that I want to do and be well, that I believe I can always do and be better and I’m willing to try and try. I don’t like that I get in my own way and often make everything into a task or a mission, it’s restricting and causes me to forget about and / or avoid fun. When I work out, I am also uplifted simply because I’ve taken the time to listen to and honor my body and because I usually have at least one exercise that helped me remember that I am always strong in some way and I am always weak in some way. Strong or weak, I just see and feel opportunity.

Everything - - - - is - - - - >connected to< - - - - Opportunity.

It’s good that I’m aware of better versions of myself that exist and that I believe I can express in this lifetime. It is relatable and lovable that underneath all of the convoluted effort, there is a very pure desire and hope to be seen as good and perfect to myself and others. I can’t explain whether it is in the most human way or in way that has nothing to do with being human. I can see how others are good and perfect in who they are and how they rise, stumble and forage through their experience.

The reason I am noticing what I am noticing and writing about it is because I think i confuse “high expectations” with the need to feel like I’m contributing and that my contribution is acceptable and desired. What this really means is that I wish to see feel know I am loved, lovable and welcome love. That’s the Truth driving the truth. That’s the divine happening in the day-to-day.

I’ve got to let that sink in a bit more, but I think it will help me create more support, space and flexibility for my body and my spirit. I need to have a little more fun…probably a lot more fun now that it is almost summer in MN!!!

I’m looking forward to tomorrow! I have lots to do, so I need to sign off, do Sobagh Kriya and get some rest and give my neck a break.

Completely,

Laura

28 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day! This weekend has been really great. I especially felt great that I was able to make it to barre class today and yoga yesterday. Working out lifts me up so much and promotes my ability to follow through on other action items and chores. It also allows me to feel like I can take breaks and enjoy them, rather than shutting down physically and worrying internally.

Everything is good. My daughter and I got a lot accomplished today and we had fun going to the mall for a bit. We celebrated Easter today, because my sister and brother-in-law were out of town last weekend, and it was nice to share a meal and hang out. Everyone has been so busy, we rarely have dinner together. I feel grateful for family. Everyone contributes in their own way. Sometimes that can cause strain or irritation, but most of the time, our family feels complementary. Family is interesting and weird to me too, because it feels like a bunch of random people who were put together. I think a lot of people feel that way in their families, but for us we are literally five kids from five different mothers. Four of us were adopted and none of us are biologically related. Being adopted seems like the obvious reason why we were all so different and did not make sense amongst the rest of the family, but I don’t think that DNA should create so many assumptions and expectations for those who are biologically related. We are all whole individuals in our own rite, and ought to be treated as such.

Yes, it is valuable and special to know where you came from and who your people are, but I’m starting to wonder if it matters as much as it doesn’t matter. Maybe what matters most is that we can be who we are despite everything and everyone else. Maybe it’s a subject that I can’t really know for myself, since I don’t know where I came from and I probably never will. I don’t feel as if I've missed out. I love the family I’m a part of. Most importantly, I know who I am.

I do want to visit my birthplace. I must go in the next 3-5 years. It would be great to go next year, but Im holding myself back because I think I should learn some language and do more research. For some reason, I often struggle to do research before I go and my main goal when I travel is to simply see how I feel in a particular place. I definitely want to bring my daughter, too. I think it would be an amazing experience for both of us. I am afraid I will be overwhelmed with emotion and cry a lot when I’m there. I won’t let that get in the way of going, but I know it will be extremely emotional for me. I wonder if I will like it. I always imagine that I wil feel so out of place. I’ll be surrounded by people who look like me, but as an American I’ll be so different and pretty socially and culturally inept.

I didn’t realize I was going to write about family or share anything about being adopted. I guess that’s why I like writing — it’s often an adventure and reveals so much.

Earlier today, I jotted down a note about physical goals and subtle goals, because I’m prone to putting my true goals out there through the subtle realms. It seems to work best fo me. I was thinking about my goals for working out, because I haven't really mapped any out at this point. The idea is to make my physical goal focused on the number of times per week I plan on working out. My truest goals will need to be embodied by me and shared through the subtle realm. This just means that I put those goals out there quietly and indirectly pursue them — a process of working with my own brilliance, there are no words. While this idea / approach is simplistic, it is more challenging and complex before the simplicity comes through.

Must go to sleep. Buenas noches.

Completely,

Laura

27 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. I was driving to the gym today and as I was thinking this thought, I said it out loud, “ I love my life.” It’s pretty awesome. Despite my relentless inner conflict and demand to do and be better, I am aware that the experience that I’m having is really good. I am lucky.

Lately, I am very aware of some life long things I’ve envisioned for myself, but have been pressing them on myself with heavy expectations. As I was writing that last sentence, I think I just got some new clarity on why I’ve had difficulty, but I’m still processing in this moment so I’m not sure I will express it accurately here. I think the thoughts and expectations have always been in the realm of “should,” but in truth, the thoughts are coming through from the positive vision I have of myself. The vision is already there so much that I believe that I am it and the conflict of it feeling real but not being real in this dimension weakens the energetic connection that is needed to make it reality.

It’s being tapped into the limitless self. There is always more of who we are and we can always do and be better in the ways we want and must in order to feel complete and peaceful in ourselves and in life. This is probably one of the most powerful realizations that I’ve had today. The idea that the real conflict is between us and our own ability to see who we truly are, to be able to see the whole vision before it is real and also to have to figure out how to create that vision in this dimension in the way we see-feel-know it. We can’t help but feel a little incomplete and shortchanged everyday as we are slowly becoming, learning to be come who we are in all directions. We are inspired to go for the shapes and forms of what we see, but the shapes and forms we see outside of ourselves are never quite the right fit. It takes us some time to realize and remember that the shape of a thing starts from one point that expands so much that it can support / create another form.

This is my ideal life right here. Thinking my thoughts and writing. Listening to music. Being my aimless self in the good company of myself. I love people and being out in the world, but I love this more. I feel the best here. If I could write whenever I wanted I think I would move through life differently. Like floating. There are some parts of me that are extraordinarily sad about the collective reality. The parts are of and equal to the whole. There is most certainly an infinite sadness that we are living through, but the whole is the infinity of awareness. I’m not entirely sure if I know this to be true, but the thought came that everything is equal in the awareness. Everything is infinite. Everything is everything. That maybe sounds Buddhist. I don’t know enough about Buddhism in my intellect, but I believe I am aware of it and even understand it.

Earlier today, I did a 500-word count test to see how manageable that goal would be for me. It feels reasonable. I’m excited to have a better goal for teaching myself how to write my book. I’m still working on my notecards, but writing 500 words on a topic related to the book will help me get to my first draft. I can write 500 new words or transcribe relevant notecards to hit my daily word count.

I did some planning today and a Blueprint Wellness approach to planning has begun to emerge. We’ll see what happens with it and if it is an effective tool for staying devoted, optimistic, organized and action-oriented.

Completely,

Laura

26 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. Every so often I get hooked on something. Currently, i am hooked on Pete Holmes’ podcast You Made It Weird. Pete is a great host and the interviews with the guests are hilarious and interesting, because the goal is to talk about Comedy, Sex and God. I’ve listened to a lot of the same guests on other podcasts, but I learn new things about them on You Made It Weird because the episodes are so conversational and aren’t edited.

I’m getting restless. I feel tired and restless. I signed up for a short, one-time writing class. I got a manicure. I have good and great people in my life. The book is still writing in my head throughout the day, especially when I meditate or in the midst of a learning experience. Keep on…

Completely,

Laura

25 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. At first I wrote, “How to read a book”, in the header, which is kind of funny because I was just thinking about how I haven't really been reading. I’ve read 50-100 pages of several books. What a revelation this is about how I get in the way of (or completely abandon) my own progress. I guess that’s not really sooo funny, but at this time, it’s just very me and what I’m aware of without sooo much judgment either. I trust myself to complete everything I feel I must. Trust is a must.

In my head, I am constantly writing this book and the flow of the ideas and words is often there, but when I come to the page it can be difficult to flow it onto the page. This is really the thing that I need to be working on in life overall and in this book writing process. I think this is all of our greatest challenge. To learn who we are, what we know, how we know it and how to share what we see feel know out in the world each day with each other.

Earlier the thoughts were flowing and I jotted some notes down, but when i came to my computer to write, that flow was gone. It will come back again, but it is interesting to me how the editor in me is always trying to take over on the page when I want to write freely. Then, when I want to take the time to go back work with something I’ve written about before, the editor just wants to take a nap.

The evenings go too fast sometimes. I want to write more, but I need to do my Sobagh Kriya and get to sleep.

Completely,

Laura

24 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. I worked out for two hours and meditated before I started writing, so no attitude issue today. I am tired and I have an early morning, so I’m going to cut this short and go to sleep.

Completely, 

Laura