120 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. Wow, today is day 120 of #120daysadhana! It feels a little anticlimactic. I have been feeling too busy and tired to really make this the practice that I was hoping to create. Nothing I am upset about, but certainly valuable for me to see how much I must reprogram and re-train my all of my systems.

It's not okay to take time, energy and love away from myself and my most important people and ambitions in life. I'm not okay with this. I’ve been too ready and willing to let everything else go to feed the achievement addiction. I am the only one who can make the change and it is doable. There are no excuses, just choices that I am making and hiding behind.

Even though it may sound like I am displeased with myself or how my 120 day sadhana has gone, I want to be clear with myself because I have experienced what I needed to understand about myself at this time. There are too many things getting in the way of what I meant to be making progress on and I am now more aware of this in a way that is helping me shift. To choose my choices and then discern and be resolute in a single direction.

I think I will feel more complete tomorrow. Right now, I’m still working out of the mindset that I didn’t really do that great of a job writing everyday. I am glad that I did the bare minimum even when I had no desire. It’s Friday tomorrow and I am extremely ready for the weekend. I really want to spend some time with my daughter. It’s fun to hang out and do nothing together. She’s just one of those people who is so nice and easy to be around. She has great friends. I’m happy for her. I am a lucky Mom!

Completely,

Laura