23 of #120daysadhana: How to write a book

I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. I’m feeling my equal parts of love and hate. I love everything and I kind of hate it all, too. The whole thing. Every part has these parts of love and hate that keep some kind of balance. Polarity keeps everything in place. Polarity is boring and prevents us from being able to enjoy anything fully, because we are always aware of the other. I think I’m overtired because I’m noticing that I have such a bad attitude right now. I keep writing my thoughts out and deleting what I wrote because it’s just not me. I am a pretty happy person. I’d even say that I’m so happy most of the time that I don’t feel the need to show it. Ha... there’s something weird and funny about that statement but I meant it when I wrote it.

Happily off to bed! 

*UPDATE*

I just did Sobagh Kriya and I feel a lot better. Meditation is so effective. I am starting to feel like I will eventually get in the practice of meditating three times each day. Morning, before dinner and before bedtime. It would be interesting to see what that feels like. 

I was so irritated earlier when I started this post and it was only because I was feeling so tired. Today was a good day! I just need to get to sufficient sleep. It’s strange to see how love and hate reside within me and get stirred up. I don’t know if polarity is quite necessary for keeping things in balance or in place; or if it appears to be something like a law of the universe that is noticeable and believable. Maybe it’s less polarity and more so about seeing and accepting the whole.

Who knows? Who cares? (Probably me.) 

P.S. I didn’t do anything related to the book except think about it and think about the idea of visioning it. 

Completely, 

Laura