I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. I wrote 500 words yesterday and am working on my 500 words for my manuscript today. I haven’t quite figured out if I want to be sharing anything here or if I’ll continue to keep the blog posts separate from the project, but for now that seems to make sense.

Pain is so distracting. I slept on my neck wrong or did something in barre class yesterday that has my left shoulder and neck feeling restricted and uncomfortable. Going to yoga tonight was helpful. I love my gym! It has such a good vibe and I’m excited to try more classes that get my out of my comfort zone. Working out is similar to meditation in that it is time that I enjoy with myself. I notice different things during my time working out vs meditating. When I work out, I become aware of how much I’m trying and wanting to be perfect all the time. it’s a bit gross meaning “immediately obvious.” I like that I want to do and be well, that I believe I can always do and be better and I’m willing to try and try. I don’t like that I get in my own way and often make everything into a task or a mission, it’s restricting and causes me to forget about and / or avoid fun. When I work out, I am also uplifted simply because I’ve taken the time to listen to and honor my body and because I usually have at least one exercise that helped me remember that I am always strong in some way and I am always weak in some way. Strong or weak, I just see and feel opportunity.

Everything - - - - is - - - - >connected to< - - - - Opportunity.

It’s good that I’m aware of better versions of myself that exist and that I believe I can express in this lifetime. It is relatable and lovable that underneath all of the convoluted effort, there is a very pure desire and hope to be seen as good and perfect to myself and others. I can’t explain whether it is in the most human way or in way that has nothing to do with being human. I can see how others are good and perfect in who they are and how they rise, stumble and forage through their experience.

The reason I am noticing what I am noticing and writing about it is because I think i confuse “high expectations” with the need to feel like I’m contributing and that my contribution is acceptable and desired. What this really means is that I wish to see feel know I am loved, lovable and welcome love. That’s the Truth driving the truth. That’s the divine happening in the day-to-day.

I’ve got to let that sink in a bit more, but I think it will help me create more support, space and flexibility for my body and my spirit. I need to have a little more fun…probably a lot more fun now that it is almost summer in MN!!!

I’m looking forward to tomorrow! I have lots to do, so I need to sign off, do Sobagh Kriya and get some rest and give my neck a break.

Completely,

Laura