58 of #100daychallenge: hardy

I don’t know why, but I’m freaking out

This life isn’t for me

It’s not just for me

When you actually know that with your whole self

The days are different

The things are things

Not desires

Desires are dire

I think I prefer to be confused

When I stopped being confused

I can see why

People have chosen to leave

What can we do?

What can I do?

Right now

I can see my own life’s movie

And I’m left with

Is this it?

I sat here thinking about doing so many things

Then avoiding them

Asking them to leave me alone

I stood here knowing I could do more

Knowing that the great unhappiness within and around

Is much to do about doing a day’s work

And not a life’s work

Living on a day’s worth

In place of a life’s worth

This is not my creation

But I am forced to reckon

Unbury me, how?

Impossible to separate myself

Connected by entanglement

I am creator and created

Whether I like it or not

I am a part of the perpetual motion

What I do

What I don’t do

I do not know if life is about happiness

I do suspect life is about peace

I’m trying not to have a hard time in life

But life is hard

And sometimes I like when I stop fighting

And I let life be hard

And I find that I am hardy

I become grateful

Filled and complete

Grateful feels beyond happy

I do not know what the purpose of human life is

Yet, I feel called upon

I’ve entered the sanctuary

Of non-confusion

It’s simpler here

Emotionless

Because there is only one thing to do

There is nothing to become of you

When your purpose is clear

And you realize

It’s all you really have

And now all you really have to do

Is do it

All the days and all the ways

You are

That’s it

That’s everything

There are no barriers

No issue of time

No stopping or distracting you

Here I am is the only thought

Standing before free will

Finally understanding

To choose is against being

Everything that I am already exists

My daughter was doing her homework and she asked for some help. She was reading John Steinbeck’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech.

Suddenly, I felt myself come together again as I read the speech and this one line summed up exactly how I feel.

Man himself has become our greatest hazard and our only hope

Steinbeck’s speech comes through even more powerfully in 2018. It is the type of wisdom that must be absorbed in the original format, though so please read it yourself.

I also love what he says about writers and writing:

The ancient commission of the writer has not changed. He is charged with exposing our many grievous faults and failures, with dredging up to the light our dark and dangerous dreams for the purpose of improvement.

Furthermore, the writer is delegated to declare and to celebrate man’s proven capacity for greatness of heart and spirit – for gallantry in defeat – for courage, compassion and love.

There is a lot of good in this world. It just seems to get lost sometimes or perhaps, I just get dim sometimes. There is an unearthly simplicity and completeness in pure goodness. I think that’s why it gets lost, because we can’t believe it to be true for more than an instance. More and more, I feel a responsibility to shine the light of good on everything and everyone, not because I am so good, but because I am good enough to recognize it when I see it.

Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.

Brightly,

Laura

Lying on the floor wanting and not wanting to do the things I need to do. So much resistance…