113 of #120daysadhana: rebuild

Just because it’s a thought in the mind everyday doesn’t mean anything. That doesn’t mean any actual progress is being made. In fact, it probably means that no real intention or commitment has been made.

I’ve been alive for 14,355 days. I am exactly 4 months away from my next birthday. I have never thought to think about how many days I have been alive. It’s imaginable that I might have another 14,000+ days to live in my lifetime, but it may be much less, who knows and who cares really… It’s not something I worry about. I don’t feel afraid of death, the main thing is that I always want to be here with my daughter, or for as long as possible.

It’s kind of funny, I just realized that if I started a second sadhana practice today, I could do another 120 days by my next birthday.

I tend not to view the world or my experience through numbers or measurable metrics. I wonder what that would be like. I think I could make more progress on the things that are truly important to me if I could shift into a metrics / measurement based mindset. It would totally make sense that the way to progress is to breakdown and break out of everything I believe and have established til now. It’s a huge undertaking and it’s going to be messy and painful, but I really love the idea. It’s like leveling a house and building everything new from the ground up based on my own design. It will be worth it. Planned, precise actions are absolutely necessary.

Starting to feel a challenge of some sort coming on…it’s bigger than a challenge — it’s a new way of being and living. Or, a more pure way of being and living, without all the distraction and excess.

Time to fly. Literally traveling through time and space where the air is clearer and the idea of doing nothing is everything.

Thank you for following @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #120daysadhana unfold.

Brightly,
Laura Peppin