72 of #100daychallenge: feelings
Today will be another timed blog post. Here we go! I’m going to just keep writing and try to avoid pausing, even though I just deleted some words. I don’t know if that’s cheating, but I think it’s okay to fix spelling errors.
The sun is out and there is something really beautiful about the light during the Fall season in Minnesota. It’s extremely radiant and brilliant. I always notice the sun more during the Fall than I do during Summer. I’m not sure why that is, but perhaps because it is lower this time of year or the cooler weather has me feeling more grateful for the sunlight!
I’m not sure what to write now. I feel like things have been shifting in me in the direction I have been wanting and that feels really pleasant and empowering. Yesterday, I went to Vertical Endeavors to try a little bouldering and go to Addie’s classes. I ended up going to two yoga classes + the core class and it was all so great! Just what my body wanted and needs. Sometimes I think I was meant to go into fitness for my work, so that I could be more active and keep my body happier. I have a goal of integrating a consistent mindset about being active, getting strong, stretching and really just enjoying the privilege of my health and well-being. It is one thing that we do have some control over and can feel an immediate benefit of some sort. It means a lot to be willing to take care of ourselves and challenge ourselves to see what we can do. We don’t always know until we try and keep trying.
Wow! The sun just got higher and is filling the room and me up and it feels really nice.
I get the sense that my life is changing right now. It’s always changing, but sometimes I really notice it and am able to appreciate myself and my experiences wholly and fully. I just want to sit here and soak it in. How many more days will I have to enjoy the sun in my face, the breath in my body, the things that make life manageable and enjoyable, moments of solitude, moments of connection, family, friends, strangers, food, music, thoughts, imagination, writing… I can never know and I’m using this truth to keep me going with gratitude for each and every one.
Everything in life matters to some degree. I’ve been editing as I go a little bit because I’m not a great typer and I’ve been pausing because it feels good. I’m not a go, go, go just to go kind of person. I’ve tried to be and it hurts. I can go, go, go with purpose or a goal and/or the greater good in mind. I always know that I can do better and do more, but am learning to discern what this thought and feeling really means case-by-case.
I’ve been drinking Earl Grey tea with almond milk and it is so good. Sometimes it’s nice to take a break from coffee. The French Meadow has the best Lavender Honey London Fog, it can be a little sweet, but is such a treat.
My time is almost up and I’m kind of grateful, because my next thing is my top priority on my task list for the day. Prioritization is so key. It is a practice in itself and involves more intuition and process than seems necessary sometimes, but we have so much going on at any one time that it can be difficult to get in touch and have clarity on the one or two things that we need each day in order to feel satisfied. Most of the time we are just working to get things done and the goal is to get it all done, but it’s never ending so we never get it all done and that wears on us.
One of the things that has been the most helpful and powerful for me is working with my feelings. Not just talking about them or thinking about them and seeing what I can do to change the ones that make me feel bad or making it my mission to do everything that makes me feel good. Feelings are indicators. They need to be noticed and understood. Sometimes they need to be traced through to the root, traced back to the seed, traced back to where that seed is located to see how the roots sprawled out and traced back again to what is shooting out through the surface. The truth about feelings and about us is that it always comes back to love. It doesn’t always feel like it, but when you take the time to break through the surface, work through the dirt gently to locate the roots, carefully massaging each root through the protective layers of matter all the way to expose the root, it is easier to see everything unexposed, and while the exposure creates some vulnerability, we also see how strong those roots are and how amazing it is for a thing or person to grow itself in a variety of environments and locations.
Time to move on, but I am feeling good about sharing my thoughts and experiences. Although some of them may seem weird or incoherent, it is helping understand what work and care I need to develop in order to communicate more effectively with others. Or, maybe this writing is just fo me and that’s enough. I don’t know for sure yet. To some degree, I do know that I am open to failing the system and the prevailing attraction and distraction focused culture to write what I need to write to do my work and share for those who are willing to do their work.
Sat Nam, dear friends who are reading! It gives me great pleasure to be sharing this #100daychallenge and I appreciate you so much.
Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.
Brightly,
Laura
pizza face.