It was so nice out today. I even saw a turkey out taking a walk and cross the street in front of my house.

All week I’ve been feeling a lot of mental and physical resistance in the morning and getting caught up in it. So, it was fun to see something out of the ordinary, like a turkey trotting around the neighborhood.

I spent time on the deck working on my book and listening to the MasterClasses of Shonda Rhimes and Aaron Sorkin. I left my laptop and phone in the house and enjoyed the process of sifting through journals and writing notecards. Three dead pens. Two cups of coffee. Two water refills. No instagram peeping. No texts. No emails. That’s how the important work actually gets done. It’s a different feeling and it feels completely satisfying all the way through. No question of whether or not I accomplished enough or if it took me too long.

Time stresses me out, so I’m starting to learn skills and mindset practices that will help me focus on what I’m doing. I’ve been aware that I don’t have a solid handle on time, so my clock is ten minutes fast and I set multiple alarms. What I didn’t realize is how much I’ve been worrying that I’m not going to have enough time to do the things I want to do in a day, a week, a month, a year, before my next appointment, before my daughter leaves for college, before I die, etc. I let the concept of time and my neuroses about it psych me out of getting stuff done and having fun.

To be fair, I have to tell the truth — sometimes I just don’t want to do things, because I want to do nothing without guilt or feeling some other to do or didn’t do looming over me. In some cases, I spend more time rebelling and being frustrated than it would take to complete a task. I’m trying to master my intellect and emotion to reduce suffering, so I love listening to podcasts or reading about helpful stories, tools and practices to identify and combat the patterns that are in the way.

Gretchen Rubin’s, The Four Tendencies quiz and book, is a fun and interesting resource to dig into when I’m feeling counter-productive. Take the quiz to see what your tendency is, I have pretty fierce Rebel tendency. I also love the Happier podcast with Gretchen Rubin and her sister, Liz raft, who are very different yet they are both practical with the approaches, ideas and struggles they share. It makes everything feel lighter and manageable again and helps me separate myself from the mental/emotional spiral that takes over sometimes.

Recently, I watched The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling, because the first MasterClass I watched was Judd Apatow’s and I realized how fascinated I am by comedy and comedians. I really like people who write and dig into the details and weird, funny, disturbing, amazing facets of life. I love that there are excerpts from his journals because it’s like getting into someone else’s mind and it made me feel less weird and better about my own journals. I remembered the Garry Shandling Show theme song, but not the show. I never really knew anything about him or his career or his meditation practice. It’s a two part series and is really beautiful, perfectly imperfect and full of love, heartache, sadness and the kind of real human connection that fills us with compassion. I feel as if I gained something from the experience as a viewer or witness. In a way, it feels almost like Garry was involved in the direction in terms of the openness, the truths that were shared and what you might take away from it all. It feels like this grand gesture of the love and appreciation that Judd and Garry shared through comedy and friendship.

I have relationships like that in my life. It reminded me of how amazing and special it is to have people who are open to and supportive of me. I am so lucky and grateful.

It’s all inspiration for me to keep going! I am. I’m taking a speedreading class right now that is really helping me focus, read more and no longer feel like I don’t have time to finish what I started. I started reading The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss today and am appreciating the mindset and lifestyle definition adjustments. Next week I am starting an online writing course. It will be fun to see how the writing course complements my #100daychallenge.

Writing is my source of fun, self-help and serenity. Can’t stop, won’t stop!

Follow @blueprintwellness.life to see my #writing #alltheloveandnoexcuses #100daychallenge unfold.

Brightly,

Laura