I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. The days feel better when I feel like I am getting stuff done and when I exercise. I didn’t exercise today, but I feel like I got some stuff done.

This evening, I worked on more notecards from February 2017 writing. I think I’m getting better at being a little more selective than I was when I first started out. I was writing significantly more in the second year of this project, because I was doing The Artist’s Way so I was writing morning pages everyday and completing the weekly exercises. It’s been entertaining and powerful to go back and read through the exercises. I love doing writing and physical exercises once I’m into them, but I have a habit of fighting just doing it. #jdi

I read about the time I was feeling pretty low and rundown, so I had woken up late and starting watching the Oprah Super Soul Sessions two part episode with Diana Nyad. She swam from Cuba to Florida at the age of 64 after previously failing to reach this goal multiple times. I had written about how I thought I should start swimming because I had always loved swimming, but also admitted my fears about not being a strong swimmer and being afraid to swim in the ocean. Maybe I just like being in water where I can see and touch the bottom. Diana Nyad asks herself this question, “Am I everything I want to be?” I wrote it down because I wanted to remember it for myself because it’s so different than asking what do I want, what do I deserve, what do I dream of, what is my goal, etc. Am I everything I want to be? This questions forces me to examine if what I want is really contributing to being more of what I want to be. It brings in feelings and honesty at the soul level.

Diana also has this mantra that feels like encouragement from the soul level, “If it is important to you — find a way.” I appreciate this, because I find this to be true to my experience. Anything that is important to me is taken care of or pursued relentlessly or steadily until I’ve found the way. Finding the way is actually the best part. She didn’t say that or at least I didn’t write it down if she did, but in my experience the act of finding my way is the best part. I felt inspired and uplifted after watching and listening to Diana Nyad share her experience and learning with Oprah. This is also a good time for me to pause and remember that it is likely that I will fail to write, publish and sell a book numerous times before I have success. It is important, so I will find a way.

I also read through some exercises that I completed for my weekly Artist’s Way work and there were a few lines from various sections that grabbed me:

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Why do I spend so much time feeling bad?

I am human and am drawn to see limitations before new possibilities.

There are no rules. It’s just a matter of living within means and dreams.

Don’t look down and fly without needing to be watched.

Give without compensation in mind.

This is how life is…there could be hundreds of pages of writing, but the volume doesn’t matter if there isn’t at least one or a handful of lines that latch onto you in away that just makes you think and feel so true and good. While I love a good line, I’m also wanting to indulge in conversation that ventures into the complexities and layers of the places these simple reminders guide us toward.

For now, I must leave you with that, because it’s Sobagh Kriya time and then bedtime. Does it seem like I’m writing a book yet? I think yes! I feel yes! I will find a way.

Completely,

Laura