I am here. Here I am. Today is a new day. My daughter and I had a nice weekend. She reunited with some good friends from elementary / middle school and it was so fun to see them together again. They are all such wonderful people and it’s fun for the parents to see them becoming who they are.

The other day, I came across this great post by Desiree Pais that captured a thought I have been noticing about myself. Writing everyday helps me be aware of how hard I am trying to be better everyday and that it can be all consuming and counterproductive, because I am essentially in a lack mindset in disguise. On the inside, I am conflicted because I feel like I haven’t gone out and let loose in awhile, but it just doesn’t feel like that would be fun for me at this time. I don’t really want to admit this, but the truth is that I don’t believe that now is the time for that kind of fun. Now is the time for my version of fun, which is getting real and doing the work of living my life.

Today, I was working on notecards and came across any entry about a lucid dream I had that I had forgotten about. Reading about an experience I’ve had is so much more interesting than reading my everyday top 40 thoughts and feelings I’m noticing. It’s seems like an obvious preference, but I took note of it because it will be important to be mindful of this when I get into draft mode. Good stuff. I haven’t had a lucid dream in awhile, but as I was reading I started to remember in my senses what it felt like in that dream. Amazing. I like lucid dreaming, it is intense and profound, and I always learn something important about myself. I learned that I am comfortable with my separateness from others and that I am comfortable and happy with myself — more than I realized.

I have some challenges with writing and reading honesty on my pages. First, I am paranoid about what I put in writing in the moment, especially if I’m in the midst of an experience and I don’t think I really enjoy documenting experiences unless it feels very interesting to me. Second, when I have been open and honest with the details it makes me a little uncomfortable when I go back and read it, but I do love it when I share my honest thoughts and experiences. It’s a funny experience to remember who I’ve been and to see how much I have and haven’t changed.

On another note, I found this great article on Mind Body Green by Kate Northrup that had some information I have been wanting to find, but never made the effort to google before: how the my moon cycle relates to the phases of the moon.

• Follicular/waxing crescent: starting things, brainstorming, planning

• Ovulation/full moon: connecting, getting out there, collaboration, communication

• Luteal/waning crescent: detail-oriented work, bringing projects to completion, tying up loose ends

• Menstrual/new moon: rest, evaluation, and research

Even though I’ve been razzing myself about trying so hard, I’m excited to start noticing and working with my own moon cycle in addition to the moon work that I’ve started doing in 2019. I do feel naturally in tune with the phases of the moon. A lot of the thoughts, feeling and behaviors I’m struggling or feeling in flow have been aligning with the astrological insights I’ve been reading. It’s inspiring and offers me a compelling explanation and approach to understanding and enjoying the process.

I’m grateful for my daughter and the lovely weekend we had together. I am also feeling grateful for the time I had to work on notecards, watch some comedy, learn more about moon cycle stuff, go to yoga and barre class, take a walk, spend time with an old friend from high school and her awesome daughter and get some things done around the house on the most beautiful spring day we’ve had so far.

Completely,

Laura